性囗交大图片大全:如何在演讲时不紧张？

在11月22日全美音乐大奖(American Music Awards)的颁奖典礼上，珍妮弗•洛佩兹(J-Lo)脚下一滑，跌坐在舞台上。诡异的是，此前三天，我也在表演时摔倒了。

不过，这两跤之间有几个不同之处。J-Lo当时正在攀登一座由近乎全裸的男舞者搭成的人梯，身着热裤，忘情演唱。而我却是在一个招待日本股票投资者的正式晚宴上，衣着体面，静静起身，准备发表演讲。我被自己的手袋绊了一下，整个人呈大字形摔向地板，下巴撞到地毯上。轰的一声。我身上别着的麦克风确保了所有未看到这一幕的人都听到了动静。

与大多数人一样，我发现公开演讲比蜘蛛或是在黑漆漆的小巷里遭劫的可能性更令人恐惧。人们怕的是丢脸的风险，就好像摔个嘴啃泥那样脸面尽失。我从未想到过自己还当真有必要担心摔倒这件事。

与大多数恐惧症不同，对在公众面前发表演讲的恐惧完全合乎情理。大多数演讲都很糟糕，哪怕演讲人努力自始至终都站得笔直。不仅是餐后演讲会如此——在那种场合下，听众要么是醉了，要么盼望回家，要么希望你能再风趣点儿。即使是日间演讲，听众们也常常忙着用黑莓玩打砖块游戏、发电子邮件、打瞌睡、或围在一块儿聊天。

为了克服恐惧和与生俱来的绝望情绪，我相当努力，争取表现得更好。每收到一本有关公开演讲的书，我都会浏览一遍，寻找窍门。它们多半会告诉你，要“放松”，“做你自己”——这是完全不负责任的说法。这只对那些亿万里挑一、天生具有演讲才华的人有用。对于普通人而言，当你的紧张程度和掩饰技巧达到一种很高的层次，令人完全相信你很真实也很放松时，那就是好的表现。

最新的一本书《The Top 100》囊括了有史以来100位最出色演讲者提供的小窍门。这本书告诉我们，比尔•克林顿(Bill Clinton)的秘密武器是“鼓舞信心”，而圣雄甘地(Gandhi)则是“避免自负”。这可能不错，但并没有太大帮助。这就像观看鲁道夫•纽瑞耶夫（Rudolf Nureyev，已故苏联芭蕾舞大师——译者注）扮演黑天鹅的视频，然后就期望自己也能以同样的方式在客厅旋转一样。

我只遇到过两条有用的建议。第一条是：练习！练习！练习！这很容易让人厌烦，因为它会占用大量时间，但你是毫无捷径可走的。第二条是丢掉所有的辅助用具。PowerPoint就是一根拐杖，本身就很令人讨厌。如果你想顺当地走路，就必须丢掉拐杖。同样，你决不能照稿读。自己动手写，背熟，把稿子留在家里，演讲时仅带尽可能少的提示。

对此，我又补充了两点自己的建议，它们都不需费多大劲。第一条是确保在你之前发言的那个人很乏味，还带着一台笔记本电脑，里面装满过于复杂的幻灯片。第二条是选择正确的听众。有一次，我为来自英格兰北部的中层人力资源经理们做一个餐后演讲。我排练了许多遍，头一天晚上都没睡着觉，还服用了β-受体阻滞剂（一种降血压药——译者注），因此一切准备就绪，状态调整到最佳水平。而事实是，那次演讲是一场灾难，没有一个人笑，这让我在随后的好几周内都情绪低落。但现在我意识到，这是听众的错。这些人无论如何都不会喜欢一个自以为对管理技巧很懂行的傲慢伦敦人。

你或许想知道J-Lo和我摔倒后都是怎么起来的。她是自己站起身，接着跳舞。而我则是被会议组织者拽起来，然后重新穿上被甩掉的鞋子。接着我宣称自己是故意摔倒的——因为我实在想不出什么笑话来作开场白，所以自导自演了这一出闹剧。

我想我收到了一些礼貌的笑声作为回应。而假如我用自己唯一能记得的笑话开场，可能一点笑声都不会有——警察对自己的肚子说什么？你在接受调查（你穿着个背心，You're under a vest）。

译者/陈云飞

There were, however, a couple of differences between the tumbles. J-Lo had been climbing a human staircase of nearly nude male dancers and was wearing hot pants and singing lustily. I, on the other hand, was decently clad and quietly getting out of my chair to give a speech at a formal dinner for investors in Japanese equities. I tripped over my handbag and landed spread-eagled on the floor, my chin hitting the carpet. Crash, bang, wallop. The microphone I was wearing ensured that anyone who did not see the fall heard it.

Like most people, I find public speaking more frightening than spiders or the prospect of being mugged in a dark alley. What is terrifying is the risk of humiliation, of metaphorically falling flat on one's face. It never occurred to me that I needed to fear it literally, too.

Unlike most phobias, being frightened of speaking in public is entirely rational. Most speeches go badly, even if one manages to stay upright throughout. It is not just after-dinner speaking, when the audience is either drunk, wanting to go home or wishing you were someone funnier. Even during the day, audiences are often busier playing Brick Breaker on their BlackBerrys, e-mailing, sleeping or talking among themselves.

To combat fear and innate hopelessness, I try quite hard to be better. Every time a book about public speaking arrives on my desk, I skim it for tips. Mostly they tell you to “relax” and to “be yourself” – which is downright irresponsible. This works only for the one in a billion who is born a brilliant speaker. For everyone else, being good means reaching such an elevated level of nervousness and artifice that you can present an entirely convincing picture of authenticity and relaxation.

The most recent book, The Top 100, contains tips from the 100 best speakers of all time and tells us that Bill Clinton's secret weapon is to “inspire confidence” and Gandhi's was to “avoid ego”. This may be true but is not terribly helpful. It is like watching a video of Rudolf Nureyev being the black swan and then expecting to be able to twirl round the living room in a similar fashion yourself.

I have only come across two bits of helpful advice. The first is practise, practise, practise. This is a bore because it takes a lot of time, but there is no way round it. The second is to junk all aids. PowerPoint is a crutch. It is an ugly thing in itself and must be thrown away if you want to walk smoothly. Equally, you must never read a speech. Write it, learn it and then leave it at home, speaking with minimal notes.

I supplement these with two further tips of my own, neither of which requires effort. The first is to make sure that the person speaking before you is really boring and has a laptop full of overcomplicated, PowerPoint slides. The second is to pick the right audience. Once, I gave an after dinner speech to middle managers in HR from the north of England. I had done a great deal of rehearsing and failed to sleep the night before and taken beta-blockers and so was all set and keyed up to the perfect pitch. The fact that the speech was catastrophic (not one laugh) made me feel bad for several weeks afterwards. But I now see it was the audience's fault. They were never going to like a snotty Londoner being superior about management fads anyway.

You might be wondering how J-Lo and I recovered from our tumbles. She picked herself up and went on dancing. I was picked up by the event organisers and reunited with my shoe, which had come off. I then professed the fall to have been deliberate – I could think of no joke with which to start my speech so had gone for slapstick instead.

I think there was some polite laughter. Which there might not have been had I started with the only joke I can ever remember. What did the policeman say to his stomach? You're under a vest.