蜜蜂有没有毒:女子自慰：最后一道禁忌？

Female Masturbation:  The Final Taboo?

                                         ——女子自慰：最后一道禁忌？

First of all, let me express my distaste at having to refer to masturbation as 'female masturbation'. It suggests from the offset that masturbation is a predominantly male activity, which, ahem, it's not. But when was the last time you heard someone use the phrase 'male masturbation'? Exactly. The banter and joviality with which 'having a wank' is normally associated is restricted by and large to male masturbation. Gender stereotyping sees the menfolk (particularly of the teenage variety) portrayed as furious and dependent masturbators, unable to go more than a day or two without polishing the silver, hitting the ham (!) or bashing the bishop (and yes, I had to Google those). And while it's not necessarily something to chat about over high tea at Fortnum & Mason, I'm quite convinced that most men will sheepishly admit they do it. The world knows men masturbate. It echoes loud and clear. 

       文章进入正题前，请容许我发点牢骚，因为我不得不把文章题目写成“女子自慰”而不是“自慰”，这着实让我厌恶。从一开始，“自慰”这两个字主要暗指男子行为。呃哼！其实事实并不如此。但是话说回来，你最后一次听别人提起“男子自慰”又是什么时候呢？当然，平常开玩笑时经常提到的“自慰经历”大体上仅限指男子自慰。典型化的性别观将男性（特别是青少年群体）塑造成具有强烈欲望的自慰依赖者，如果每天或每两天不射精，他们就会感觉度日如年(当然，这些我还需要在谷歌上查一查)。虽然这并不是在Fortnum & Mason喝下午茶时的必谈内容，但我非常确定大多数男人都会或多或少透露他们有过自慰经历。全世界都知道男人自慰。这是再平常不过的事了。

But what of the womenfolk? Well, that's where this story really begins. A few hours ago, while mooching about on Twitter, a friend of mine posted the following: "Bringing up female masturbation with the girl on your course you don't know that well is always slightly nerve wracking #truthsoflife." I smiled at first, because yes, discussing masturbation with a near stranger is one of those awkward things university seminars occasionally demand (...I definitely did the wrong course). But then I was annoyed, because why should 'female masturbation' be any more awkward than male masturbation? Male masturbation is waved aside flippantly because it's to be expected. You'd be surprised if a man told you he didn't masturbate (particularly if you're in the middle of a discussion on the Eurozone, the NHS or similar). We expect men to masturbate, so why isn't there that same freedom for women? 

       但是同样的情况发生在女性身上又是怎样呢？仔细听好，我们现在开始真正切入正题了。几小时前我在微博上闲逛，看到一个朋友发了个贴子：“在课堂上和关系不怎么好的女孩提女子自慰这个问题通常有点犯神经，也不大现实。”一看到这个贴子我就笑了，现实确实如此，和一个几乎陌生的人谈论自慰问题确实十分尴尬。也只有大学研讨班里偶尔需要出现这种尴尬局面（我确实上错了课）。但是细想后，我便觉得有点愤愤不平。为什么人们谈论男子自慰显得那么理所当然，而提到女子自慰则会感到尴尬呢？人们对男子自慰经常不屑一顾，认为那样理所当然。如果一个男人告诉你他从不自慰，你一定会大吃一惊。我们既然能预料到男人会自慰，那为什么就不能谈论女子自慰这个话题呢？

As a child of an all girls boarding school, sex was the bread and butter of our conversations. We would gather around our bunk beds in our dormitories, whispering and wondering about sex. And it was only a matter of time before the ultimate question of 'do you masturbate?' rolled around. Never one to be coy, I would nod sagely and proffer my sexual wisdom (age 14 and never been kissed) to my fellow students. Some girls would stare open mouthed, some would agree and some would dismiss it altogether, blushing furiously and saying adamantly that they never, ever masturbated. It was all very funny to see my prudish friends when we were kids, and I assumed that as we grew up, everyone's attitudes to sex would naturally change. I didn't think masturbation was taboo any more. I assumed it was a given.

       在女子寄宿学校里，性是孩子们经常谈论的话题。我们会在宿舍里围着双层床窃窃私语，对性充满好奇。每次卧谈结束前的最后我们一定会问其她人：“你自慰吗？”这个问题只不过是时间早晚的事。我本身并不腼腆，每当问到这个问题时，我都会很坦然地点头，然后向我的同伴奉上自己关于性的锦囊妙计（14岁，从没接过吻）。一些人听了之后张着嘴，瞪着大眼，十分讶然,一些人和我观点一致，而另一些人则不然，她们脸涨得通红通红，倔强地反驳，说自己以前从未自慰过，以后也更不会自慰。幼年时看到朋友们倔强的脸感觉十分有趣，当时我就预测，我们长大后，每个人的性观念都会自然而然地改变。我并不再认为自慰是一种禁忌。我认为谈论它是理所当然的事。

But then I got to university, and STILL the whispered conversations of masturbation occurred. And while I was a hair's breadth from becoming an Ann Summers demonstrator, some of my peers maintained a strict code of never (or at least never admitting to) masturbating. Now let me set one record straight - I have no issue with people wanting to keep their private lives private. Of course I wouldn't demand sexual secrets from my friends and roommates. It's a women's right etc etc. What shocked me was that women still treated masturbation as a big taboo. It was STILL shameful, still dirty and still only ever discussed after the third or fourth gin and tonic on a particularly juicy girl's night in. I couldn't believe it. Hadn't we moved on?

       但是后来，我进入了大学。大学里的女生仍旧像女子寄宿学校里的孩子们那样谈到自慰时便窃窃私语。尽管我差点成了一名安·萨默斯示威者，但是我的一些同伴仍旧维持着严格的生活方式，她们从不自慰（或者说她们至少从不承认）。现在，让我澄清一个事实，我对那些不想让别人揭露私生活的人并没有什么意见。当然，我也不会询问自己朋友或室友的性秘密。毕竟那是一个女人的权利。让我震惊的是，女人总认为谈论自慰是一个很大的禁忌。谈论自慰总是让人感到可耻，感到肮脏。这真是难以置信。我们就不能进步一点吗？

所以，当Twitter提出了老辩论，我却不能帮助它。窜出一个非常有趣且激烈的交流，一些人解释说他们的朋友从未谈论过自慰的事情，而其他人则兴高采烈地拥护lovehoney.com的奇迹。鸿沟是令人难以置信的。有些是因为宗教原因，有些只是假正经，有些只是想保护自己的隐私。我问，妇女自慰是个忌讳吗？第一个答复？”在Twitter上。这个话题是禁忌。”我认为这个答案相当简洁地回答了我的问题。在世界最大的论坛上，我们会讨论任何事情，从假婴儿颠簸到卡扎菲的残缺不全的尸体，但讨论女性自慰仍然是禁忌。我们真的没有比坐在双层床周围只知道傻笑的青少年开明多少。

    确实，这是对于女性性欲这种更大的谈论话题来说，这只是其中的一小部分。但为了世界各地的妇女，对他们来说，自慰是他们的性生活健康的一部分，我乞求世界进步一些。我要对全世界的妇女说：收回你们作为女人的权利。自慰是性行为中健康和快乐的一部分。它可以治愈头痛，放松肌肉，使情绪高涨。它就像没有卡路里的蛋糕。说实话，如果你不知道这是怎么回事，那么一个没有经验的人在地狱就没有希望。所以，请维护性的所有权，并让我们拒绝那些认为自慰很可耻的人的奇怪的和破坏性的观念。