13年雪铁龙c4l:朋友，意味着什么？

   

友情中的行为  

For Ashley, it was like this: She was sitting with a big group in the school lunchroom when she accidentally knocked her drink onto her lap. As word spread that it looked like Ashley had wet herself, the laughter began to mount. Then she noticed her best friend doing something strange.

  

对于Ashley来说，友谊是这样的：当她在学校挤满人的食堂里用餐时，突然她不小心把饮料打翻在大腿上，随后这尴尬的一幕被散播开来，有人开始发出不怀好意的窃笑。这时她发现她最好的朋友在干一件古怪的事情。

"She poured water on herself," Ashley said.

“她开始把水倒在自己身上”Ashley说。

True friendship is hard to find, Ashley says. But she knows it when she sees it. And so do many of you. We asked our readers what it takes to be a good friend. The responses poured in — more than 5,000 of you shared your thoughts on friendship.

真正的友情很难被察觉。Ashley这样说道，但是当她看到上面的一幕时她却真切的感受到了友情是什么。也许各位读者也一样，于是我们向读者们询问了这样一个问题：是什么成就了友情？超过5000名读者向我们分享了他们的见解。

For some, the defining moments of friendship were profound, such as the soulmate who helps you through the grief of losing a family member or camps out in your hospital room when you're sick. For others, it's smaller gestures that loom large — the friend who talks for hours when you're feeling alone, even if it means going over on his cell phone minutes; the one who helps you with your homework, even when she hasn't done her own; or the friend who helps you search for your retainer, even when it means going through the garbage from the school lunch.

在某些特定的时刻，友情是能够让我们真切感受到的，比如说：帮助你渡过丧亲之痛的好友；当你生病时，在病房里守护你的死党。还有那些看似虽小却能够触动我们心灵的事情：即便会耽误很多时间，却还是在你感到孤独的时候听你倒了几个小时的苦水；自己作业还没完成，却硬是要辅导你的那个家伙；或者帮你一起找牙套，即便此牙套很有可能和学校午餐一起进了垃圾桶。

  

What Friends Do for You

  

朋友为你做的

Big or small, it's actions that seem to count the most in friendship. In a time when we can chat effortlessly by text and IM, talk is getting cheaper. Many of you believe that the evidence of true friends is what they do to show their loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, or willingness to make a sacrifice when you need help.

这些或大或小的事情都能让友情更加深厚。当我们随时都能用短信或者即时通讯的手段和别人交流时——即使这种交流不那么重要，交谈已经开始显得廉价了。很多人更愿意他们的朋友用实际行动来显示他们是忠诚的；诚实的；值得信赖的以及当你需要帮助时，能够无私地作出牺牲。

Kaitlin, 14, told us about a friend who took the blame for her when she got in a fight at school. Her friend was suspended for 10 days. And Marissa, 16, said she discovered the difference between a close friend and casual friend on a school trip to California.

14岁的Kaitlin告诉我们，有一次她卷入了学校的斗殴事件中，而她的朋友代她受了惩罚：关禁闭10天。还有16岁的Marissa说她在一次去加州的学校旅行中发现了亲密朋友和普通朋友的区别。

"I got sick, and my friend ran to the bathroom after me to hold my hair back as I became the Exorcist," Marissa said. "She stood by me, while my other 'friend' yelled at me to get off the floor and clean it up."

  “我那时感觉恶心想呕吐，我的那个朋友跟着我跑进洗手间，当我狂吐不止的时候是她帮我托着头发，而另外那些“朋友”为了下楼梯和为了把楼梯清理干净对着我大声吼叫。
  

  

What You Do for Friends

  你为朋友做的

It works both ways: Nearly three quarters of the people who wrote to us said they do as much for their friends as their friends do for them. Sometimes the most treasured acts of friendship are those for which you expect to get nothing in return, not even credit for a good deed.

在写信给我们的人中大约有四分之三的人觉得友情是双向的：他们为朋友所作的和朋友为他们所做的一样多。但有时友情中最宝贵是不计回报的付出——即便是丰厚回报的许诺也不需要。

"The nicest thing I ever did for a friend was when I let her date my ex — without ever telling her that I was against it," Rae'Johne, 14, said.

“我为朋友做过的最伟大的事情是：我撮合了她和我的前男友。即便心里很反对，但也没有告诉她。”14岁的Rae’Johne说。

Elaina, 15, remembers the day she went clothes shopping with her best friend, who is overweight. The saleslady was being rude to her friend because there was so little in her size and nothing fit quite right.

15岁的Elaina还记得那天和她最好的朋友去逛服装店，她的朋友比较“丰满”，由于这一特点她的朋友招致了女店员的无礼对待——因为这个服装店里根本没有她能穿下的衣服。

Elaina is proud of how she helped her friend that day. "I had like an armful of clothes for myself (and may I add these clothes were to DIE for!) and I put all my clothes back and said, 'I don't like what they have in here, why don't we go somewhere with better clothes, not these cheap ones.'"

Elaina至今仍对那天她如何为朋友解围的举动深感自豪。“我捧了一堆衣服去试穿（真的是巨多的一堆），然后我把它们扔到一边说：‘他们这儿的便宜货我没一件喜欢，不如我们去别的地方找点更好的。’”
  

  

The One and Only

  仅此一个

Many of the people who wrote us thought it was important to have a best friend, one who stood out from the rest.

许多人写信告诉我们他们认为结交一个有别于其他朋友的知己是很重要的。

"In reality, you are truly blessed to have one true friend to the backbone," Bizaflak, 14, said. "All the others are basically your acquaintances." That's what Rich, 17, meant when he described a person's friends being "like a pyramid" with one at the peak and others in supporting roles.

“事实上，你真的应该祈求有个忠贞不渝的朋友。”14岁的Bizaflak说。“其他的都不只不过是你的熟人而已。”17岁的Rich把人的朋友描述成金字塔状：知己在塔尖，其他的构成基石。

Some of you described the communication between best friends as being a perfectly clear connection, almost as if it's on a frequency only they can hear.

有时人们把知己间的交流描述成完美无误的心灵交互，即便两个人只听不说都能保持这种交流顺畅地进行下去。

"A true friend understands you, even when you're not talking," Casey, 14, said.

“即使你一言不发，你的知己也能够理解你的意思。”14岁的Casey说。

"We practically finish each other's sentences," Kayla, 15, said.

“我们基本上能说出对方想说却没有说出口的话。”15岁的Kayla说。
  

  

The Wisdom of Friends

  朋友们们的智慧

Often what you look for in your best friend is good judgment. Jackie, 14, said the nicest thing a friend did for her was to tell her mom a secret Jackie had told to her friend — that she was extremely depressed.

通常你对你最好朋友的评价是很公正的。14岁的Jackie向我们讲述了她朋友为她做过的最令她感动的事情：那时Jackie向她的朋友倾诉说她极端厌世，然后她朋友把这个秘密告诉了Jackie的妈妈。

"My friend was scared and even though I told her not to tell anyone, she knew she had to," Jackie said. "She ended up saving my life, and I am grateful."

   “我告诉她不要告诉任何人，但是她吓坏了，她知道她必须要告诉我的妈妈。”Jackie说，“她救了我的命，我非常感激她。”

Not everyone thinks it's important to have one best friend. Molly, 14, said that together her friends make up all the aspects of what one "true friend' would be.

也并不是每个人都认为结交一个知己是很重要的，14岁的Molly说她的朋友们身上的各种特质集中到一起就是一个“真正的朋友”。

"I have friends who I would confide anything in and trust them to keep it all a secret," Molly said. "I have smart friends, funny friends, goofy friends, 'bodyguard' friends (a.k.a. the friends who will stick up for you no matter what), and just friends who are there on the weekends who want to hang out. So really, no one person can fill every void in your life."

“不管是什么秘密我都能与他们分享，并且完全信任他们。”Molly说。“我有很聪明的朋友，很有趣的朋友，当然还有有点迟钝的朋友，”保镖“型的朋友（不管发生什么他们都会力挺你），还有些你只在周末和他们联系的朋友。说真的，不可能有一个人能填补你生活中的每一处空白。”
  

  

"Friends Are Kind of Scary"

  让人担惊受怕的朋友
  

Friendship isn't easy. To hear many of you tell it, making a good friend is almost like adding a new family member. It comes with risk and responsbility.

维持友谊并非易事。很多朋友告诉我们，与一个好朋友交往甚至意味着你多了一个新的家庭成员，这往往意味着风险和责任。  

"Friends are kind of scary," said Mary, 14, who has trusted some friends with secrets and regretted it. "Not them in person, but the thought of them in general. It's almost like you are investing in this one person, whoever it may be."

  “朋友有时让人担惊受怕。”14岁的Mary说，她与她信任的朋友们分享了秘密，然后后悔了。“当然这只对事不对人，这有点像在一个人的身上投资，不论他是谁你都有可能遇到风险。

Sometimes what a good friend needs from you is brutal honesty, not a cheerleader. Gretchen, 15, said: "A true friend is a person who would really tell you how bad you look in that bright pink spandex suit, even though you really like it."

有时亲密的朋友会要求你对她真实坦诚，而不是做一个“啦啦队长”。15岁的Gretchen说：“一个真正的朋友会告诉你你穿上那件艳粉色的涤纶套装丑爆了——即使你本人很喜欢。”

Friends aren't always forever. Angelica tells the story of a friendship that began in kindergarten. She remembers how close they were back in the days when she helped her friend cope with diabetes, sat with her after her appendix was removed, and listened to her as she struggled with family problems.

友情也不总是能维持永久。Angelica说了一个关于开始于幼稚园的友情的故事。她犹能记起那时她们多亲密，她帮助她克服糖尿病带来的症状；当她朋友的阑尾被摘除时守护在她身旁；听她朋友抱怨家庭问题。

But her friend moved away recently and hasn't returned her calls. Angelica has heard that her friend now hangs out with kids who drink and do drugs. "I know what these things can do to you," Angelica said, "and I could help her again. But I feel too far away."

但是她的朋友最近搬了家，至今杳无音讯，Angelica已经听到了一些她朋友和小混混来往的传闻，“我知道我能再一次帮助她，但是，我感觉我们之间的距离好遥远。”

Romance, like distance, can complicate things. Many teens told of friendships that soured after their friend began seeing someone.

爱情，距离之类的东西都能让维系友情变得艰难。许多孩子说自从他们的朋友接触了一些人之后，他们的友情就开始变味了。

"I think the nicest thing a friend ever did for me was to decide that she would still be my friend this school year even after I dissed her to hang out with all these cute guys," 14-year-old Darilynn said. "I love her for that ... I've learned my lesson."

“我认为我朋友做过的最令我感动的事情是：在这个学年里我冷待她并和那些更有趣的家伙交往后，她依旧把我当成她的朋友。”14岁的Darilynn说。“我对此真是深受感动，并且我已经接受了教训。。。。。。“

   

When Friends Move On

  当友情已成追忆

Many of you learned the true value of friendship after it was gone. Lots of you urged people to work at their most important friendships, rather than letting them fall apart after a fight or fade away.

当友情消失时许多人才会体会到它的真正价值。许多人鼓励别人尽力维护他们最为看重的友情，而不是在一次冲突后分道扬镳或者让这段友情渐渐消失。

Roxanne, 15, said her closest friend committed suicide recently. Her advice on how to treat your friends? "Cherish them like you only have one last day with them."

15岁的Roxanne说她最好的朋友就在最近自杀了。对于如何对待朋友的问题上她的建议是：”要像与他们相处最后一天那样珍惜他们。“

And for some, it was OK if good friends only accompanied them for part of their journey in life. People grow and change, and so do their friends. Lily, 14, said her best friend will be moving away this year. Lily will try to stay in contact, but she is realistic about the prospects.

当然，如果你的好朋友们要开始他们自己的人生旅途时，你也应该为他们高兴。人是不断成长变化的，朋友也一样。14岁的Lily说她最好的朋友今年就要搬家了，而Lily会尽力与她保持联络，不过她面对未来的不确定性时还是非常现实。
  

"Friends come and go," she said.

  

“在你的生命中，朋友们来了又走，走了又来。”她说。