玛雅达德尔介绍:5件你要知道的事情

1. The 5 to 1 Rule  5对1法则

The “5 to 1 Rule” states that for every negative interaction that you have with a person, it will take five positive interactions to bring the relationship into equilibrium. 5对1法则说的是每一个在人际交往中产生的消极的互动，将要用5个积极的互动来弥补使人际关系平衡。

Relationships that aren’t in equilibrium usually don’t last very long, and if they do last they’re usually not much fun.  So after your next argument with your spouse or your boss, remember that it will take five positive interactions to level the playing field.不在平衡状态的人际关系是不能持久下去的，即使持续了很久，这种关系也通常是趣味索然的。因此，要记住，在你下一次和你的配偶或者老板争吵完之后，你将要花五个积极的互动来平衡你们的关系

2. The Desire for Compliments 想要听到赞美声

Research shows that we human beings appreciate compliments, even when they’re not completely genuine, and even if we know they’re not completely genuine. 有研究表明，作为人都喜欢听到别人的赞美，即使是他们自己一点儿也不优秀，即使是赞美他们的人也知道他们一点儿也不优秀。

We grow to like individuals regardless of the overall sincerity in which they compliment us.  If someone tells us that we look really nice today, even if they have an ulterior motive…that we’re aware of, we still like them even more.  It appears that the majority of us have a strong desire to be complimented.我们慢慢开始喜欢赞美别人的人，尽管有时也不是全都出于诚意。如果有人告诉我们说我们今天看起来很好，即使他们有可以看出来的隐藏的动机，我们仍然会甚至更喜欢这些人。这么看来，大多数人都想听到赞美声。

3. Being the Best on the Job  在工作中做得最好

So who do employers and bosses consider their star performers?雇主和老板眼中的明星员工是谁呢？

It’s not necessarily the most educated employee, neither is it the employee who comes in the earliest and stays the latest. 他们不一定会是受过最好教育的职工，也不一定是这些上班来得最早走得太晚的人。

Stars in companies are the ones who make their bosses and peers “better.”  Star performers are the ones who have the largest impact on the group as a whole.  To be a star in your company you must make things better, easier, convenient and more profitable for those around you.公司里的明星员工是这些让他们的老板和同事都能各得其乐的人他们对整个团队的影响是最大的。要成为一个明星员工，你要把事情做得更好，方法更简单、便利，对你身边的人更有利。

4. Facts Don’t Equal Stories 揣测不等于事实

Be careful with facts, because facts don’t equal stories.  It may be true that John did not return your phone call.  However, it’s not necessarily true that John doesn’t think you’re important and has decided to “blow you off.” 对事实要谨慎，因为揣测不等于事实。约翰没有还你的手机，这件事可能是真的。但是这并不说明约翰认为你是无足轻重的，想要去惹毛你。

We humans are logic machines; we long to make sense of everything.  Unfortunately we usually imagine the worst, and we create negative stories to fill in the gaps between the facts.人是讲逻辑的动物，我们想要使每件事都有个合理的解释。可惜我们通常把事情想得最坏，用那些揣测来代替事实真相。

Remember that facts don’t equal stories; John probably has a good reason for not returning your phone call.要记住，揣测并不等于事实；约翰不还你的手机有可能有其他的原因。

5. Energy Givers and Stealers 催人奋进者和催人消沉者

Have you ever been around someone who just seemed to suck the very life out of you?  They’re just draining and depressing to be around. 你身边有把你的生活弄得一团糟的人么？他们的存在使你觉得没有精神，有点消沉。

Then there are other people who inspire, motivate, and encourage you to do more, to be better, to be your best.也有另外一种人，他们的存在激励鼓舞你做得更多更好，做最好的你自己

In which category are you?  你是属于哪种类型呢？

Don’t steal energy from those around you, sincerely give energy, give life, and you will be welcomed, appreciated, and sincerely enjoyed.不要偷走你身边的人的力量。真诚地奉献出自己的一份力量、生命，你就会很受欢迎的，会得到欣赏和别人的喜欢。

Bonus: A Plan and a Vision 奖金：计划和远见

A plan is critical to success.  If you don’t have a plan as to what you’re going to eat for the rest of the day, then there’s really no telling what you might put in your mouth. 计划对成功来说相当的重要。你如果对这一天接下来的时间要吃什么有个计划，你就不会不知道你将会吃到什么东西。

A plan is the track that our “human train” runs on, without a plan we are certain to derail.  So be sure to have a plan. 计划就是“人类火车”跑的轨道，没有了计划我们的人生便会脱轨。因此，一定要有计划。

But it’s not enough to just have a plan; you must also have a vision.  Solomon wrote, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  You need a vision so strong that it motivates you to complete your plan.但是光有计划还是不行的；你必须要有希望。古以色列国王所罗门写道，“没有愿景，人类便会灭亡”。你需要有足使你激发完成计划的愿景。

A plan combined with a clear vision is sure to take you to your goal.计划加上清晰的愿景定能使你实现目标。