坂町近次郎近卫昂图片:隐藏婚外情的8个秘诀

避免性丑闻的8个秘诀

So you’re a straying politician who doesn’twant to end up in the tabloids. Don’t date an employee, and do use birthcontrol! Ex-madam Kristin Davis and the founder of Ashley Madison offer a guideto getting away with it.

假如你现在的身份是一个外边有小三的政客，而不想让街头小报断送自己的前程，那就一定要记住不要与雇员约会，并且要记得采取避孕措施。从前做过鸨母的Kristin Davis和偷情公司阿什利·麦迪逊的创办人会告诉你如何逃避惩罚。

It’s no secret that Americans have thehighest rate of divorce in the Western world; at least one study has found that60 percent of men and half of women will cheat on their spouses at some pointduring their lives. But if cheating happens so often, why haven’t we gotten anybetter at doing it? From Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose wife is leaving him overa secret child, to former presidential candidate John Edwards, who allegedlypaid off his mistress using campaign funds, to the text-happy Tiger Woods,let’s hope America’scheating husbands and wives have taken a hint on what not to do.

美国人拥有西方世界最高的离婚率已经不是什么秘密了，至少一项研究显示，60%的男人和一半的女人，在他们一生中的某个时点会对配偶不忠。鉴于不忠发生得如此频繁，我们为什么不做得更漂亮些呢？从施瓦辛格（其妻子将因为他的一个私生子而离开他）到前总统候选人约翰·爱德华兹（据说他用竞选资金讨好自己的情妇），再到爱发短信的老虎伍兹，这些人都是活生生的例子，真希望美国那些红杏出墙的丈夫和妻子们，已经从中领会到底什么该做，什么不该做。

But in case they haven’t, we went straightto the experts—including the founder of Ashley Madison and an ex-madam—for afoolproof guide on how not to get caught having illicit sex. (Not that we’reendorsing such behavior, of course.) From finding the right partner to notleaving a paper trail, The Daily Beast offers eight dos and don’ts tosuccessful hanky-panky.

但是万一他们没领会的话，也好办，我们直接去找专家——包括从前做过鸨母的Kristin Davis和阿什利·麦迪逊公司的创办人，让他们明白地告诉我们如何神不知鬼不觉地搞婚外情。(当然了，这并不是说我们赞同这种行为。)从找到合适的情人到不留下书面记录，The Daily Beast网站以宜忌的形式提供了八条妙计。

1. Find the Right Partner, Part 1

1、情人要合适，第一部分

DON’T: Shack up with a single man orwoman—they might form an attachment or expect you to leave your spouse forthem.

忌：与单身男女拍拖——他们可能对你形成情感依恋或寄望于让你离开自己的配偶。

DO: Find another married person. It’s likethe old Cold War doctrine of “Mutually Assured Destruction,” says NoelBiderman, who founded the affair-facilitating service Ashley Madison: If bothparties have something to lose, they’re less likely to spill the beans. Tellyour partner you’re married. “With a single person, you meet, you hit it off,and then they soon find out you’re already taken—all bets are off,” saysBiderman. “They feel conned.”

宜：换成一个已婚者。偷情公司阿什利·麦迪逊的创办人Noel Biderman表示，这就像冷战时的原则——“相互确保摧毁”，如果双方都会有所损失，他们就不太可能泄露秘密。快告诉你的情人你已有家室吧。和一个单身者邂逅，很合得来，然而他们很快就会发现你有配偶了——那就一切都完了，他们有受骗的感觉。

ALLEGED OFFENDERS: John Edwards (RielleHunter)

嫌疑人：约翰·爱德华兹

2. Find the Right Partner, Part 2

2、情人要合适，第二部分

DON’T: Let sparks fly with a close friend,co-worker, or employee. “These things always end badly,” Biderman says. “Itcomes with ancillary and collateral damages. The worst place to have an affairis in the workplace or circle of influence.” But don’t go cruising for totallyrandom, anonymous sex either—there’s too much danger of a sting or, in the caseof a famous politician, being recognized.

忌：与密友、同事或雇员擦出爱情火花。Biderman 表示，“这样做都不会有好下场，会伴有附带损害，最不适合婚外恋的地方就是工作场所或自己的影响范围”。但是，不要过于随意地寻欢，也不要和陌生人搞一夜情——那样很有可能会受到敲诈，或者对于出名的政客来说，保不准会被认出来。

DO: Find a stranger you can trust—or anescort, if that’s what you’re looking for.

宜：如果你愿意，那就找一个可以信赖的陌生人——或玩伴。

ALLEGED OFFENDERS: Bill Clinton, former Sen. John Ensign, CaliforniaLt. Gov. Gavin Newsom, former Sen. Larry Craig.

嫌疑人：比尔·克林顿，前参议员John Ensign，加州州长Gavin Newsom上尉，前参议员Larry Craig。

3. Communicate Covertly

3、悄悄地联系

DON’T: Leave a paper trail—virtual orphysical. That means everything from text messages, voice mails, and calls on acellphone to mysterious charges on a phone bill to emails. “You might as wellbe walking around with it pasted to your forehead,” says Lauren Tallman, authorof How to Have an Affair and Not Get Caught. “Don’t keep pretty and nice emailson your computer. Delete, delete, delete.”

忌：留下书面记录——不论虚拟的还是实物的。它包括从短信、语音邮件和手机上的通话记录，到电话账单的离奇费用，再到电子邮件等，林林总总，不一而足。《谈婚外情不被发现的方法》的作者Lauren Tallman 表示，“你最好还是在走路时，将这句话贴到脑门上——不要把心仪的电子邮件存到电脑上，删掉，删掉，删掉。”

DO: Get a prepaid cellphone or use a payphone. Make sure phone bills are sent to your office. And cover your tracks.“In this era, lipstick on your collar has been replaced by digital lipstick inthe form of a text message you leave behind,” Biderman says.

宜：弄一部预付费手机，或使用付费电话。一定要让电话账单送到你的办公室，并且隐匿你的通话痕迹。Biderman 说，“在这个年代，衣领上的口红已经被你遗留在手机短信中的数字口红取代了。”

ALLEGED OFFENDERS: Tiger Woods, Sen. DavidVitter, former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

嫌疑人：老虎伍兹、参议员DavidVitter、前底特律市长KwameKilpatrick。

4. Spend Money Wisely

4、聪明地花钱

DON’T: Use a credit card or personalchecks, or draw money from an account shared with your spouse. Kristin Davis,who worked as a madam in Manhattanfor years and claims to have supplied escorts to Eliot Spitzer, DominiqueStrauss-Kahn, and others, says many men follow this rule to begin with beforeletting their discipline slide. “If the girl’s that charming and they’reenjoying their time, they want to add an extra hour and have to use a creditcard,” Davissays. “Men are motivated by their penises, and that makes them throw caution tothe wind.” And a special consideration for politicians: Don’t use taxpayerdollars to pay for rendezvous.

忌：使用信用卡或个人支票，或从与配偶共用的账户取钱。Kristin Davis表示，很多男人起初遵循这个准则，后来就松懈了，“如果女孩非常迷人，他们玩的很享受，他们就会再呆上一小时，因此就要使用信用卡”，“男人是阳物决定脑袋，那个东西让他们把警惕性当成了耳旁风”。Kristin Davis曾在曼哈顿干鸨母这个行当多年，声称曾向斯皮策、卡恩和其他人提供三陪。对于政客的特别忠告：不要用纳税人的银子为你们的风流韵事买单。

DO: Get a separate bank account from yourspouse and pay with either cash or a prepaid debit card. As with phone bills,major expenses or bills for jewelry and other gifts are a dead giveaway.

宜：与你的配偶分立银行账户，每次用现金或借记卡付账。正如电话账单一样，购买珠宝或其他礼物的大额支出或账单会彻底泄露秘密。

ALLEGED OFFENDERS: Former S.C. Gov. MarkSanford.

嫌疑人：前南卡罗来纳州州长MarkSanford。

5. Take Care of the Details

5、关注细节

DON’T: Have a child out of wedlock—even theGovernator was only able to keep that quiet for 14 years. If you’re using anescort service, don’t treat the sex worker poorly. Davis says she was conscientious aboutkeeping her clients’ identities quiet, but was willing to play a little looserif a john was abusive. “You need to have an understanding that this is aservice and you wouldn’t be abusive toward your doctor, who’s providing you aservice,” she says. Likewise, it’s a bad idea to annoy an escort who couldreveal what you’re up to.

忌：有私生子——甚至“州长终结者（施瓦辛格——译者）”也只能让这个秘密埋藏14年。如果你正享用三陪服务，请对三陪女好一点。Davis表示，她过去尽职尽责地掩盖顾客的身份，但是如果嫖客进行性虐待的话，她也乐于口风松一些，“你必须清楚，这是一项服务，你不会虐待服务于你的医生吧”。同样，惹恼一个可能揭露你那点糗事的三陪女，也是不明智的。

DO: Use birth control.

宜：采用避孕措施。

ALLEGED OFFENDERS: Schwarzenegger,Strauss-Kahn.

嫌疑人：施瓦辛格、卡恩。

6. Keep Your Name Quiet

6、别暴露真名

DON’T: Brag about who you are. “The biggestthing to be concerned about is to not have the Spitzer effect: Do not let yourego get in the way,” Davissays. “I had many clients call up and tell me who they are and say, ‘Googleme.’ They wanted me to be impressed. Maybe they thought I’d send them a bettergirl. At the end of the day that’s not smart.”

忌：自吹你是某某人。Davis说，“最值得考虑的事情就是不要走施皮策的老路：不要让你的自我搅了你的好事”，“好多顾客给我打电话，告诉我说他们是谁，并且说“谷歌我吧”，他们想赢得我的欣赏。他们可能想，我会送给他们一个更好的姑娘。总而言之，那是不明智的”。

DO: Use a pseudonym.

宜：用化名。

ALLEGED OFFENDERS: No big names…yet.

嫌疑人：还没有大人物。

7. Stay Discreet

7、保持谨慎

DON’T: Obviously, you shouldn’t spread theword around. But as a famous person, there’s greater risk of being recognized.Don’t dare the press to catch you in an indiscretion either. Don’t have yourlover bail you out on a DUI charge.

忌：你明摆着不该到处去宣扬。但是作为名人，你被认出的风险是相当高的。也不要激媒体当场捕捉到你的不检点行为。受到醉驾指控后，不要让你的情人将你保释。

DO: Make sure your paramour isn’t wearing awire.

宜：确定你的情人身上没有窃听器。

ALLEGED OFFENDERS: Bill Clinton, Gary Hart,Vito Fossella.

嫌疑人：比尔·克林顿、GaryHart和Vito Fossella

8. Keep Others Out of It

 8、不要徇私枉法

DON’T: Use campaign funds to pay for yourlover to be set up in a cushy house—it turns out that’s illegal. Don’t haveyour parents shell out $96,000 to your ex-lover’s family either. And don’t tryto arrange a job for your lover (or his/her husband or wife), especially ingovernment.

忌：利用竞选资金为情人购买舒适的房子——这是非法的。也不要用父母的钱为前情人的家庭支付96000美元。不要试图为情人（或他/她的丈夫或妻子）安排工作，特别是公职。

DO: Cross your fingers you don’t getcaught.

宜：交叉手指，祈求不被捉到。

ALLEGED OFFENDERS:John Edwards,John Ensign,James McGreevey

嫌疑人：John Edwards,John Ensign,James McGreevey