熄灯 英语:唤起同步性高潮的艺术

唤起同步性高潮的艺术

Posted by Emily Nagoski September 23, 2011

 

Romance novels and movies are awash in simultaneous orgasms. Hero and Heroine (read that like you're Dudley Do-Right) cross that exquisite threshold, launch themselves willingly over a trembling edge, and tumble downward in a spiraling, panting tangle of sheets and sweat.

爱情小说和电影充斥着性高潮的描写。男女主角越过强烈极限，令彼此的身心穿过令人颤抖、神魂颠倒的边缘，然后倒在充满纸巾和汗液的满地狼藉上。

It's terribly compelling, terribly romantic, this notion of fusing so utterly with your partner that every barrier is shed, every defense is dropped, and your bodies lock into each other's arousal. The boundaries of your very skin seem to become permeable and you-- almost literally--merge into each other, like the entrainment and synchronization of two rhythms or the joining of the Blue Nile with the White Nile or the microscopic union of egg and sperm giving rise to one new life or... whatever metaphor gets you.

一切是如此迷人，如此romantic，在彻底的水乳交融下，似乎一切障碍都消失了，一切阻力都减退了，男女双方嵌入彼此的欲望唤起之中。你们似乎穿越皮肤的界限，融入了彼此的躯体，恰似两种节奏的协调和同步，也如青白尼罗河水相互交汇，更似显微镜下精卵融合孕育新生命......以及各种比喻。

But in real life, simultaneous orgasms are hard, both for emotional reasons, and for straightforward mechanical reasons.

然而在现实生活中，由于心理和生理两方面的原因，获得性高潮是困难的。

As discussed in the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, there are some differences between men's and women's orgasms. Specifically, women take longer to orgasm and are less likely to orgasm from penile/vaginal penetration.

我们已经在《女性性高潮床上指南》一书探讨过，男性和女性性高潮间存在差异。女性的高潮持续时间更长，而且仅仅依靠阴茎插入阴道的刺激比较难以获得性高潮。

And if the goal is for two people to have an orgasm at the same time, then how long it takes you to get there and what kind of stimulation propels you over the edge - well, those are things you need to be able to match up.

而且如果目标是伴侣双方同时达到性高潮，那么达到临界点之前所需要的时间以及刺激 方式，都需要你们彼此完美合拍。

You need three things for that:

为了达到这样完美的性爱，你需要：

You need a high degree of control over your own sexual response. 

首先需要对自身性反应的强度具有高度控制。

You need a modality that provides enough of the right kind of stimulation to get you both to orgasm. 

其次，需要良好的感知，给予对方足够的性刺激，使得双方都达到高潮。

You need a minute awareness of your partner's level of arousal. In short, you need control, modality, and attention.

再次，需要非常注意配偶的性兴奋程度。简言之，就是控制、感知、注意力。

Control

控制

This is the easiest of the three. If you read this section and think, "Dude, that sounds hard!" perhaps the time is not yet ripe for you to pursue simultaneous orgasm. For everyone else, here's what to do.

控制是三项中最容易的。如果你读到这段话并心想：“老兄，这根本很难！”那么或许对你而言，现在并不是追求同步性高潮的成熟时机。其他有心人则知道该怎么做了。

Gentlemen: Please teach yourself to maintain a high level of arousal without ejaculating. If you can stay pretty darn aroused for half an hour, that's a good start. An hour is better.

绅士们，请让自己学会保持高度性兴奋但避免射精。如果可以保持半小时坚硬，那么是个良好的开始。如果可以保持1小时那么更好。

Modality

感知

Let's say there are two primary modalities for simultaneous orgasm. There are more, of course, but let's simplify a bit:

我们说在同步高潮中存在两种感知。事实上当然更多，但是我们这里简化一些：

Penetration. If she's one of the 25 to 30 percent of women who are reliably orgasmic from penetration, this will be a little simpler for you. If she is instead in the majority of women, you need to find a way to add clitoral stimulation to your intercourse. All kinds of other stimulation can be useful too: Breast stimulation. Kissing. Hair touching/pulling/gripping, etc. Face and/or throat touching. And any number of psychological dynamics that might intensify the experience for you--pinning your partner down or allowing your partner to pin you down, fantasy and role play, a sexy venue... but be careful, though, that these add to your arousal without distracting you so much that you lose track of your partner's arousal.

抽插。如果她属于25%-30%的对阴茎抽插产生兴奋的女性，那么获得同步高潮会容易一些。但对大多数女性来说，需要在做爱中配合阴蒂爱抚。其他的爱抚也有帮助，包括亲吻、触摸、轻轻抓扯头发、轻贴面颊和颈部等等。还有其他心理精神方面可以加强体验的方法，例如压住配偶或者让对方压迫你的身体，性幻想以及角色扮演、特殊场所做爱等等......但是要注意这些性爱佐料在增加性兴奋的同时，不会分散你关注对方性兴奋程度的注意力。

Attention

注意力

Attention is even more difficult during simultaneous orgasms because you have to pay attention to both your own and your partner's arousal. You have to pay all the necessary attention to yourself to get yourself to orgasm, and on top of all that, you have to monitor your partner's arousal to get the timing right.

在取得同步高潮中，注意力是更加困难的，因为需要关注你和伴侣双方的性唤起情况。你需要足够的注意力关注自身以达到性高潮并完成整个过程，同时也需要关注配偶的兴奋程度，从而同时达到高潮。

The people who find simultaneous orgasm easiest are probably people who find their partner's arousal level to be highly, highly stimulating. Fortunately, this is learnable. Practice paying attention to your partner's arousal level and experiencing it as a part of your own arousal. 

那些可以感知配偶的兴奋程度已经非常之高的人，往往更容易与之同时达到高潮。幸运的是，这一点是可以通过学习得到的。练习关注对方的性兴奋程度，并且尝试把它当做自身的性唤起的一部分。

Imagine what it might feel like to be in his or her skin, what he or she must be feeling. Allow your partner's arousal to feed and merge with your own arousal.

想象对方皮肤的感受和对方的体验。为对方的兴奋而满足并与自身的兴奋相融合。

Again, remember that this is all extra bonus sexy fun. Having or not having simultaneous orgasms is no reflection on your sexual health and wellness. Happily, every occasion that you practice can potentially improve your life and relationship--not just your sex life and sexual relationship, but your whole life, your whole relationship. It's good. Do it. Try it.

同时，记住同步性高潮的体验是一种性爱乐趣的加分奖赏。是否享有同步高潮对你的性健康和良好程度并无影响。更好的是，你们体验的各种生活环节都可以潜在的改善你们的生活和关系，不仅仅是性生活和性关系，而是你的整个生活和你们的整体关系。很好，做吧，去尝试吧。