百花图卷 战甲 小说:How To Have a Happy Marriage

20 Key Ideas For a Happy Marriage

1.  Keep your mindon your main goal, which is to have a happy marriage. Say and do what willenable you and your spouse to have a happy marriage. Avoid the opposite.Everything else is commentary.

2.  Keep asking yourselves, What can we do to have a happy,loving atmosphere in our home?

3.  Focus on giving, rather than taking. Say and do as manythings as possible to meet your spouses needs.

4.  Keep doing and saying things that will give your spouse asense of importance.

5.  Frequently ask yourself, What positive things can I say anddo to put my (husband or wife) in a positive emotional state?

6.  Before speaking, clarify the outcome you want. The meaningof your communication is the response you actually get. If the first thingyou say is not achieving your goal, change your approach. Remember thatmutual respect and happiness is your real goal. Do not needlessly argue.Silence is often the wisest choice. Constantly be mutually respectful.

7.  Showappreciation and gratitude in as many ways as possible. Say somethingappreciative a few times a day.

8.  Be a good listener. Understand your spouse from his or herpoint of view.

9.  Be considerate of the feelings and needs of your spouse.Think of ways that you have lacked consideration and be resolved to increaseyour level of consideration.

10.  Instead of blaming and complaining think of positive waysto motivate your spouse. If your first strategies are not effective, thinkof creative ways.

11.  Give up unrealistic expectations. Do not expect your spouseto be perfect and do not make comparisons.

12.  Do not cause pain with words. If your spouse speaks to youin ways that cause you pain, choose outcome wording, Lets speak to eachother in ways that are mutually respectful.

13.  Be willing to compromise. Be willing to do something youwould rather not do in return for similar behavior from your spouse.

14.  Write a list of ways that you have benefited from beingmarried to your spouse. Keep adding to the list and reread it frequently.

15.  Write a list of your spouses positive patterns andqualities. Keep adding to the list and read it frequently.

16.  Keep thinking about what you can do to bring out the bestqualities of your spouse. Reinforce those qualities with words and action.

17.  Focus on finding solutions to any problems that arise. Besolution oriented. Do not just blame and complain. Do not focus on who ismore wrong. For a happy marriage, work together to find mutually acceptablesolutions.

18.  Remember your finest moments. What did you say and do whenyou felt best about each other? Increase them.

19.  Look for positive activities you can do together.

20.  Live in the present. What went wrong in the past is thepast. You create the present and future with your thoughts, words, andactions right now. Choose them wisely.

© Rabbi Zelig Pliskin [based on"Marriage"by Rabbi Z.Pliskin]