广元市继续教育网登陆:你能控制别人喜不喜欢你

心理学版本的心想事成。说白了就是：你对别人友好，别人就喜欢你；你要是怕别人对你不友好，自己先把架子摆起来，对方可就真不喜欢你了。

The mystical-sounding 'acceptance prophecy' is simply this: when we think other people are going to like us, we behave more warmly towards them and consequently they like us more. When we think other people aren't going to like us, we behave more coldly and they don't like us as much.
看似神秘的“接纳预言”实则很简单：当我们认为自己受到其他人喜欢时，我们在他们面前就会表现得更加友善，结果对方也会相应地变得更喜欢我们。当我们认为自己不被他人喜欢时，就会表现得更加冷淡，这样一来，对方就更不喜欢我们了。

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy because if we predict acceptance we get it, if not we don't. It's also an intuitively appealing explanation for how people come to like (or dislike) each other. But the question for psychologists is whether it is really true or just a neat fairy story.
这就是一个自我实现预言，因为当我们预期会被他人所接纳时，我们获得了接纳，而当我们预期不被接纳时，就不会被接纳。对于人们为什么会喜欢或不喜欢彼此，上述也是个直观上很有吸引力的解释。但是对心理学家而言，重点是这个解释是事实，还是仅仅是一个“看起来很美”的童话故事。

The waters are, of course, muddied by all the usual individual and cultural differences—some people care more about other's acceptance and some people are naturally more accepting—but let's set those aside for a moment and just imagine two people who are identical except that one expects others to accept her and one expects others to reject her.
在这个问题上，把水搅浑的正是所有那些通常的个体和文化差异——有些人更在意来自他人的接纳，有些人天性就比较容易接纳别人——但是让我们暂时把这些放到一边，只考虑两个人，他们在所有方面都一模一样，只除了其中一个预期其他人会接纳他，而另一个人预期其他人会拒绝他。

What the research has found, according to a new paper just published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, is that one part of the acceptance prophecy has strong evidence to support it, while the other part does not. Until now.
根据最近发表在《人格和社会心理学公报》上的一篇论文，研究发现，“接纳预言”有一部分得到了有力的证据支持，其他部分则不然。直到现在。

The first part, in a model put forward by Dr Danu Anthony Stinson at the University of Waterloo and colleagues, is that the interpersonal warmth people project predicts how much others like them (Stinson et al., 2009). For psychologists this is uncontroversial; people take better to others who are genuinely warm with accurate judgements about their warmth made in only 30 seconds (Ambady et al., 2000).
Waterloo大学的Anthony Stinson博士及其同事提出的一个模型中，第一部分是：人们表达出的人际友善可以预测其他人对他们的喜爱程度（Stinson et al., 2009）。对于心理学家而言，这一点是毫无疑问的。人们更喜欢那些真正友好的人，而且他们在30秒内就能对他人的友好程度作出准确的判断。

Pleased to meet you很高兴见到你

What has proved more controversial is whether anticipating acceptance really does increase the interpersonal warmth that people project towards others. It's this question that Stinson et al. (2009) set out to test by manipulated people's expectations about a person they were about to meet for the first time.
被认为更有争议的一点是预期的接纳是否确实增加了人们表达友善的程度。Stinson等人（2009）对此做了个实验，通过操纵人们对于将要初次见面的另一个人的预期。