洋妞如何看中国男人

作者介绍：

Jonna Wibelius is originally Sweden but has spent the last 7 years living in England, Australia, Finland and now China (Shanghai/Suzhou since 2006). SHE in China is her blog about her observations on every day life.

Jonna Wibelius原籍瑞典，但她在过去的7年间曾先后移居英格兰、澳大利亚和芬兰，现在在中国定居（自从2006年起，有时是上海有时是苏州）。《她在中国》就是她记录并分享自己每天的生活心得的博客


在中国，中国男人加西方女孩的搭配似乎并不常见。为何西方男性常常与中国女孩约会，而西方女性与中国男性约会就颇为少见呢？

对此，我无法给出太明确的结论，我只能将自己认为有可能的原因一一列出：

1. 西方女孩比大多数中国的男人都高，而且块头往往比中国男人还大，也就是所谓的“大骨架”。但凡女孩就不会希望自己比她的男人还“高壮”，而男人们也不会喜欢被自己的女人衬得瘦小……

2. 文化差异：许多西方女性都相当独立，在家庭中往往与丈夫共同分担家务。而在许多中国城市中，女人们要独自承担起所有的家务活儿（即使她还做着一份全职工作），还要做晚饭，等等等等。她们的男人是不会帮她的。（只有上海的男人不这样。上海的男人真是理家的一把好手啊！）对于试图融入截然不同的中国社会的西方女性来讲，做到这一点实在是太难了。我知道至少我就做不到。

3. 语言障碍（不解释了）

4. 相互之间缺乏吸引力

当我刚到中国时，我的想法是“姐绝不会被亚洲男人迷倒的…他们可不是我的菜…”，可是不知不觉中我的想法就改变了！我想，或许是因为我的眼睛需要一些时间才能适应完全不同的景象吧……走在大街上，我忽然就被亚洲男人们秒杀到了（中国人、韩国人、日本人……）

刚到中国的时候，或许你会觉得中国人都长得一样（中国人也是这么看我们的，有许多中国人告诉我，他们觉得西方人都生得差不多），但当你的眼睛适应了一段时间，足以发现亚洲人的长相差异之后呢？不管怎样，在我在中国待了8个多月不到一年之后，我能就分辨出那些是英俊的亚洲男人了。有趣的是，当我把那些男人指给我第一次来中国的西方朋友们时，他们往往会深感困惑，完全不能领会。

或许我们的眼睛需要一些时间才能适应新事物？我只能这么解释了…对于现在的我来说，找出亚洲男人萌点这种事儿已经毫无压力。今年一月份我和我的一个朋友去首尔旅游，我们俩被韩国男人的长相、衣着等等萌得热血沸腾。（当然啦，对我来说，光外表迷人并不意味可以开始交往了，性格也要好才行呀）

总而言之，我认为中国男人要比西方男人更女性化一点。一个经典的例子就是，在最近几年“男性包包”成为了时尚……在中国有的男包长得和女包没什么两样，这样也没问题吗？（有些男人甚至还会拿着他们老婆的包包上街……这哪儿能弄混啊！）如果是个西方男人，你让他带个这样的包——那真是想都别想。

作者:寒灯 发布日期:2011-10-26 13:06:39 浏览:816
译文简介:
Jonna Wibelius原籍瑞典，但她在过去的7年间曾先后移居英格兰、澳大利亚和芬兰，现在在中国定居（自从2006年起，有时是上海有时是苏州）。《她在中国》就是她记录并分享自己每天的生活心得的博客。

作者介绍：

Jonna Wibelius is originally Sweden but has spent the last 7 years living in England, Australia, Finland and now China (Shanghai/Suzhou since 2006). SHE in China is her blog about her observations on every day life.

Jonna Wibelius原籍瑞典，但她在过去的7年间曾先后移居英格兰、澳大利亚和芬兰，现在在中国定居（自从2006年起，有时是上海有时是苏州）。《她在中国》就是她记录并分享自己每天的生活心得的博客。


正文：

Chinese man + Western girl...isn't a combination you see much of in China. While Western men often date Chinese girls, it's quite rare to see Western women with Chinese men. Why?

Well, I actually don't know (who does?!) for sure, but I can only guess that it has something to do with one, or many, of the following reasons:

1. Western girls are taller/ have got 'bigger bones' than most Chinese men, and often look/are bigger than Chi men. A girl doesn't want to feel 'bigger' than her men and a man doesn't want to feel smaller than his woman...

2. Culture differences: many Western women are quite independent and used to sharing the house chores with their men. In many Chinese cities, the woman is expected (regardless if she has a full time job or not) to take care of the household, make dinner, and so on, with no additional help from the man (except for if she lives in Shanghai! The Shanghai men are apparently real house helpers). I find it hard to imagine a western woman settling for this when she's been brought up in a completely different society. At least I know I wouldn't.

3. Language barrier (needs no further explanation)

4. Lack of mutual attraction?!

When I first moved to China I caught myself thinking that 'I will never find an Asian man attractive... they are just not my style....' But then, something happened?! I don't know if my eyes needed time to adjust to the different scene or what... but suddenly I started to see attractive Asian men on the streets (China, Korean, Japanese...)

I think it might have something to do with the fact that you first come, and think that everyone looks the same (this goes both ways: many Chinese have told me that they think all western people look the same) and then it takes a while for your eyes to adjust and actually distinct people? Anyways, that's how I felt it was. After something like 8months-1 year I started seeing a lot of attractive Asian men, and the funny thing is, that when I pointed them out to western friends who had just come here/who was here for a visit, they just looked at me and frowned.

Maybe the eye needs some time to get used to things? I don't know what other way to explain it... Nowadays I can think that many Asian men are attractive. When me and one of my girlfriends travelled to Seoul in Jan this year we were both quite amazed how good the guys looked, how well they dressed, and so on. (Although, to me, simply being attracted isn't enough to start dating. There obviously needs to be a personality click as well)

In general, I think Chinese men are more feminine than Western men. A classic example is the 'man bag' that became trendy some years ago... In China a man bag seem to be able to look like a woman's handbag and still be OK for a man to carry around??! (and then there are of course Chinese men carrying around their woman's hand bags... so those shouldn't be mixed up!). Try getting a Western man to do that = instant failure.

在中国，中国男人加西方女孩的搭配似乎并不常见。为何西方男性常常与中国女孩约会，而西方女性与中国男性约会就颇为少见呢？

对此，我无法给出太明确的结论，我只能将自己认为有可能的原因一一列出：

1. 西方女孩比大多数中国的男人都高，而且块头往往比中国男人还大，也就是所谓的“大骨架”。但凡女孩就不会希望自己比她的男人还“高壮”，而男人们也不会喜欢被自己的女人衬得瘦小……

2. 文化差异：许多西方女性都相当独立，在家庭中往往与丈夫共同分担家务。而在许多中国城市中，女人们要独自承担起所有的家务活儿（即使她还做着一份全职工作），还要做晚饭，等等等等。她们的男人是不会帮她的。（只有上海的男人不这样。上海的男人真是理家的一把好手啊！）对于试图融入截然不同的中国社会的西方女性来讲，做到这一点实在是太难了。我知道至少我就做不到。

3. 语言障碍（不解释了）

4. 相互之间缺乏吸引力

当我刚到中国时，我的想法是“姐绝不会被亚洲男人迷倒的…他们可不是我的菜…”，可是不知不觉中我的想法就改变了！我想，或许是因为我的眼睛需要一些时间才能适应完全不同的景象吧……走在大街上，我忽然就被亚洲男人们秒杀到了（中国人、韩国人、日本人……）

刚到中国的时候，或许你会觉得中国人都长得一样（中国人也是这么看我们的，有许多中国人告诉我，他们觉得西方人都生得差不多），但当你的眼睛适应了一段时间，足以发现亚洲人的长相差异之后呢？不管怎样，在我在中国待了8个多月不到一年之后，我能就分辨出那些是英俊的亚洲男人了。有趣的是，当我把那些男人指给我第一次来中国的西方朋友们时，他们往往会深感困惑，完全不能领会。

或许我们的眼睛需要一些时间才能适应新事物？我只能这么解释了…对于现在的我来说，找出亚洲男人萌点这种事儿已经毫无压力。今年一月份我和我的一个朋友去首尔旅游，我们俩被韩国男人的长相、衣着等等萌得热血沸腾。（当然啦，对我来说，光外表迷人并不意味可以开始交往了，性格也要好才行呀）

总而言之，我认为中国男人要比西方男人更女性化一点。一个经典的例子就是，在最近几年“男性包包”成为了时尚……在中国有的男包长得和女包没什么两样，这样也没问题吗？（有些男人甚至还会拿着他们老婆的包包上街……这哪儿能弄混啊！）如果是个西方男人，你让他带个这样的包——那真是想都别想。

Also, Chinese men can go and have a manicure, something that I think I'd have to violently force on my Western bf, if I wanted him to get one (I don't, however!). I also think that Chinese men in general wear tighter clothes and more bright colours than western men .. I don't know, many of them just feel 'more in touch with their feminine side' than western men (I guess I should mention that I moved from Finland to China, and Finland being the most masculine country I have ever lived in -not in a good way!!!) I also get this feeling that Chinese men are a bit more sensitive than western men. I mean, have you ever heard a Western man humming along (loudly) to 'My heart will go on' on the streets!?

So, could I date a Chinese man (IF I was single)?! I don't know. I think my main concern would be the culture differences. I think that a Chinese man would find me very bold, opinionated and obstinate, and I am not sure how he would deal with that? (gosh, I like to put myself in a bright light, don't I?! But I have strong opinions! I could never hide them). Also, I love doing sports?! Meaning: I love sweating. Not considered very feminine in China?

此外，中国的男人还可以去做指甲，这类事情我的西方男友万万不会去做的，除非我以性命相胁（不过我是不会这么干的！）而且我觉得中国男人比起西方男人更偏爱颜色鲜亮和紧身的衣服…比起西方男人，许多中国男人似乎更有其“女性化的一面”（我不知道原因，或许是因为我是从芬兰来中国的，而芬兰是我去过的最最纯爷们的国家——这可不是件好事啊！！！）另外，我还觉得中国男人比起西方男人更加细腻敏感。我的意思是，你见过哪个西方男人在大街上自娱自乐的高声哼唱《我心永恒》啊！？

这样说来，我这个西方姑娘还有可能与一位中国男性约会么（如果我还是单身）？我不太确定啊。我想我最主要的问题还是文化差异。中国男人或许会觉得我太张扬，太固执和倔强了，我该怎么做呢？（唉，我确实是挺爱出风头的，没办法呀，我就是这性格嘛！我也没法把我的本性隐藏起来）。此外，我还挺喜欢运动的，后果就是——我特爱出汗。这事儿严不严重？中国人会不会觉得我太爷们儿了一点？

其实我倒也不怎么希望成为一个像中国姑娘一样“娇滴滴”的女孩。我喜欢把自己打扮得漂漂亮亮的，也喜欢穿高跟鞋，但我不会在男友出门旅游时盼着他给我带礼物，也不会指望男朋友给我买的所有东西付钱（我自己付得起！）。出门逛街时，那种为了拿到喜欢的东西而撒娇的行为我是做不出来的。中国人会不会觉得我很奇怪？他们会肯定我的做法么？

有哪位姑娘曾经和中国男人交往过，能给点建议吗？和西方女人交往过的中国男人也行啊。我上面写的那些原因还算靠谱吗？有没有什么误解？有没有什么原因没写到？你们是怎么想的？咱们来讨论一下吧！

以下是讨论：
Post by: ScubaSteve Time: 20-Oct-2008 17:04
"I mean, have you ever heard a Western man humming along (loudly) to 'My heart will go on' on the streets!?"
perhaps, Chinese dudes just have really bad taste in music, did you ever think of that?
this is a silly post. Western dudes like Chinese girls because they're exotic and submissive, not to mention that a lot of ex-pats in China couldn't cut it w/ the ladies back home.
Western chicks aren't really that attracted to Chinese dudes, yes because of the aforementioned smaller bones and height issue, but perhaps you can allow yourself to elaborate:
__________________.
Chinese women (according to a Durex condoms poll) are, globally, some of the least likely to regularly achieve orgasm during intercourse, most likely because dudes just don't know what buttons to push. Add on the FACT that most Western women have a longer cervix and you've got a sexual mis-adventure waiting to happen.
hmmmm . . . .

回复“我的意思是，你见过哪个西方男人在大街上自娱自乐的高声哼唱《我心永恒》啊！？”
或许吧，中国帅哥的音乐品味都很诡异，你不觉得吗？
这帖根本没说到点子上。西方人之所以喜欢中国女人，那是因为中国女人温柔顺从，又充满异域风情，更何况许多去中国的人平日里连把妹都做不到。
西方女孩对中国男人来说就没多少吸引力了。这点楼主说的没错，西方女孩的大骨架和身高确实是个问题，不过你也可以把自己打扮得更精致一点。
根据杜蕾斯安全套在全球范围内的调查，一些中国女性在床上常常无法达到性高潮。究其原因，大多是因为男人们根本不会找G点。此外，西方女性相较之下往往深不可测，常使男性们鞭长莫及，因此也无法得到快感。
嗯……


Post by: Top_of_the ... Time: 22-Oct-2008 10:41
I'm a guy, so maybe I can't really speak for women, or know all of their tastes, but I have met Chinese guys that I think Western chicks can dig. These are guys with charm, talent and self confidence (EG, a talented guitarist who works out at the same gym as I do) and that are quite handsome as well.
The problem with most of these dudes is that they are unfit, thin and weak, and in that sense, somewhat pathetic, and too many of them are computer nerds who spend more time with computer games and chat rooms than real people. I think its a bit of a generational thing and that China's urban environment is very unfriendly to youth. Also, it is generally really boring unless you're ready to spend quite a lot of money.
As for the comment above clearly referring to a "size matters" issue, I think it's incredibly juvenile, and in terms of physiological mechanisms of pleasure, fully backwards. You can have the tiniest tool in the world, but if you know what you're doing, still give chicks the most insane orgasms they've ever experienced, in sets of three. The cocksure simpleton above has about the authority on this subject as a pimply, junior-high school jock. Ignore him. Real women looking for meaningful relationships rarely factor "size" into the equation.

我是个男人，所以对女性喜好的理解可能会有一些出入，不过就我遇到的一些中国男人来看，他们大多觉得西方姑娘是可以深交的。这些人都很有魅力，且颇具才华，而且十分自信（比如其中一个人就是个天才吉他手，他和我在同一间健身房工作），有几个长得还相当俊俏。

问题在于，这些男孩子们大多蔫了吧唧的，长得也太瘦弱了些——他们中许多人都是宅男，天天对着电脑，花在打游戏和泡聊天室上的时间比面对真人的时间都多。至于原因，我想或许是因为对于这一代的年轻人来说，在中国的大城市生活是一件十分艰难的事情。而且如果你还不是有钱人，那么生活在城市也不见得能有意思到哪去，相反还可能会十分单调乏味，这就造成了年轻人依恋网络的现状。

至于楼上提到的“大小”问题——实在是太傻太天真了。在生理快感方面完全没有领悟到要领嘛。就算你的家伙全世界最小又怎样，只要你知道你在做什么，通过攻击三点，你仍旧能给小妞们带来她们所经历过的最强烈性高潮。楼上那个自信满满的傻帽不过在犯中二病呢，甭理他。实际上，对于渴望爱情女人而言，器官的大小并不那么重要。

Post by: deliberate Time: 24-Oct-2008 8:04
You guys are all still (still) talking about old, folklore and pop-culture-based stereotypical beliefs.
You have to look at the glass half full instead of half -empty!
I've been to China 7 times...
I have seen some very masculine HOT and BIG Chinese dudes. Maybe I don't waste time looking at the small, wimpy, computer nerdy, fem Chinese dudes you are all talking about, but I honestly didn't see any like that.
I think that because of different traditions and different needs in their society (Chinese daily life is NOT easy like ours is) their tastes are different... but if you look past the brightly colored clothes or the fact that the dude might not be totally ripped with a 6 pack and might not be a cocky bastard "player" like lots of western "hot" dudes are, then you could see real masculine beauty and strength with Chinese men.
Especially in Qingdao I saw lots of tall, large-framed Chinese men whose faces almost made me drop in my tracks...I mean literally, "drop dead handsome". And they are also "exotic" in that they are "different" than what we're used to...they're (usually) not as "cocky" as western guys and are much less assuming. They tend to be a little more reserved, shy and perhaps conservative...but they still would love to have a try with a western woman (if they're single that is-- want to stress here: don't go out and break up homes in china now western girls!).
to be continued in next post (it's long)

各位，你们怎么还在瞎传那些充满歧见，流毒不浅的陈词滥调啊。
你应该看到杯中水半满，而不是半空！
我可是去过中国七次…
我在中国见过不少高大威猛的性感肌肉男。至于楼上说的瘦弱猥琐宅男，可能我没怎么留意吧，不过我真是一个也没见过啊。

我认为这个或许是因为中国的传统和需求与我们不同吧（中国老百姓的生活确实不如我们舒适），他们的审美取向也与我们不同…但是，如果你的目光能够穿过那“颜色鲜艳的衣服”，如果你能想到这个男人既不会嗑药磕得半死不活，也不会和那些在西方被视为帅哥的又狂又贱的“某球员”一个德行，你就能看到中国男人身上那种真正的力量与阳刚之美。

特别是在青岛，我在那里见过不少身材高大的中国男性，而他们的脸几乎让我沦陷……没错，就是这个意思，我几乎被他们英俊的容貌秒杀了。而且他们也很有“异域风情”，这些男人和我们平时所见的是不一样的…他们（大多数）不像西方男人那样自大，相比之下西方男人就傲慢得太过了。他们一般都会有点冷淡，有点害羞，有时还会有点保守…不过他们还是很喜欢与西方女人打交道的（如果他们还是单身的话）。不过我要强调一下：妹子们，你们可不要现在就急着要离家去中国啊！

帖子有点长，我再开一楼吧。
Post by: deliberate Time: 24-Oct-2008 8:05
cont'd from last post:

未完待续

Post by: deliberate Time: 24-Oct-2008 8:05
I'm married to a Chinese man (from China). He's pretty atypical for a Chinese man if you think of most Chinese men as you've all described above...But I'd venture to say there are plenty like him.
He's tall (over 6 feet tall) and weighs almost 200 lbs and LOVES to go to the gym. He's really independant (not easy to push this guy around) BUT he's fiercely loyal and does think my opinion as his wife matters with important decisions and so he does ask me. His traditional little cultural inuendos and quirks are just endearing and provide me with a great learning opportunity about him and his culture and humanity (and help me constantly look at myself)...
Now, that being said...I wondered (painstakingly) as I walked the streets in China what the hell American or western women are thinking? Where are their heads? up their asses? (sorry girls...I have to ask this) bEcause there really are some HOT guys there!!!! And ones that are worth asking out if you (and they) are single!!
If you NEVER ask them out or present a situation where they can ask YOU, then you'll never know how delightful an experience a Chinese man is!!! You just have to give it a go and see for yourself!!!! It's wonderful!!!

我嫁给了一个中国男人（他来自中国）。他和你们所描述的“典型中国男人”不太一样，可我敢说有很多地方是很像的。

他个子很高（大约有1米83以上），体重大约90公斤，而且很爱去健身房锻炼。他很独立自主（拉他陪我出去转悠是很难的），但他又十分疼老婆，大事都会找我过问，很顾及我的感受。在文化传统上他确实有点可爱的小怪癖，这倒给了我一个了解他的文化和性格的机会（也往往能帮我认清我自己）

现在，我得问问…每当我走在中国的大街上时，我就一个劲儿地想啊，美国和西方女人们到底在瞎想什么呢？！她们的脑子在哪儿？都长菊花里去了吗？（对不起姑娘们…我只能这么问）因为这些男人实在太性感啦！他们绝对值得你问上一句——“你还是单身咩？”