如梦之梦购票:Four Rules for a Successful Marriage 成功婚姻的四大准则

Couples usually ask for advice when they are just about ready to throw in the towel. Their Love Banks have been losing love units so long that they are now deeply in the red. And their negative Love Bank accounts makes them feel very uncomfortable just being in the same room with each other. To be in love again means they must re-deposit all of the love units that were withdrawn. In order to deposit enough love units to fall in love, they must follow rules that they don't feel like following.
夫妻往往在婚姻面临崩溃时才会向他人寻求忠告。此时他们爱情银行中的爱情货币早已是亏欠多时，他们也因而陷入深深的爱情赤字当中。他们消极的爱情储蓄使他们甚至只要同处一室就会觉得非常的不舒服。如果他们想要找回那些被遗忘的爱，那么他们就必须把各自从爱情银行中取回的爱情货币再全部重新存回他们的爱情银行中。为了储存足够的爱情货币，他们必须遵循下面这些也许他们并不喜欢的规定。
The Rule of Care: Meet Your Spouse's Most Important Emotional NeedsEven when the feeling of love begins to fade, or when it's gone entirely, it can be recovered whenever you both go back to being an expert at knowing each other's needs and learn to meet those needs in a way that is fulfilling to your spouse, and enjoyable for you, too.
关心法则：满足你爱人最迫切的情感需求如果你们能重新成为通晓彼此需求的专家，并学会用双方都能觉得愉快的方式来满足这些需求，那么即使你们的爱情已经开始消退，或者早已不复存在，也能很快地被重新找回。
The Rule of Protection: Avoid Being the Cause of Your Spouse's UnhappinessIt's pointless to deposit love units if you withdraw them right away. So in addition to meeting important emotional needs, you must be sure to protect the Love Bank from withdrawals by paying attention to how your everyday behavior makes each other unhappy. You and your spouse were born to be angry, disrespectful, demanding, annoying and dishonest. These are normal human traits that I call Love Busters because they destroy affection. To eliminate them, you will do whatever it takes to overcome these destructive tendencies for your spoise's protection.
保护法则：避免成为对方的不安因素如果你们一存进爱情货币就想立马取回，那么这是毫无意义的。所以，除了满足彼此迫切的情感需求外，你们还要通过特别留心那些日常生活中让彼此不愉快的行为，来保护爱情银行中的爱情货币不被立即取回。你和你的爱人彼此之间免不了会生气、不敬、苛求、恼怒甚至欺骗。这些典型的人性弱点我把它们称之为爱情克星，因为它们会破坏夫妻之间的感情。要消除这些爱情克星，你就必须不惜一切代价的克制住这些非常具有杀伤力的冲动来保护你的爱人。
The Rule of HonestyReveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know——your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plans for the future. Honesty and Openness can trigger the feeling of love. But it's counterpart, dishonesty, is one of the most destructive Love Busters. Besides, honesty is the only way couples will come to understand each other. To avoid conflict, they sometimes deliberately misinform each other as to their feeling, personal history, activities, and plans. This not only leads to a failure to meet an important emotional need, and a withdrawal of love units when the deception is discovered, it also makes marital conflicts impossible to resolve. After all, how can you and your spouse solve a problem if your cards are not on the table? Without honesty, the adjustments that are crucial to the creation of compatibility in your marriage cannot be made.
诚实法则彼此坦诚相待，尽可能地让你的爱人了解你的思想，情感，习惯，喜恶，个人经历，日常活动以及有关未来的计划。因为诚实和坦率大大有助于增加彼此间的感情。但是与此相对应的，欺骗，也将会是爱情克星中最具杀伤力的一个。此外，诚实也是夫妻之间相互理解的唯一途径。有时候为了避免冲突，夫妻间可能会对他们的情感、个人经历、日常活动和计划故意的有所保留。这不仅会使双方所迫切的情感需求得不到满足，在欺骗被发现后，爱情银行中的爱情货币也会被支取，它还会使婚姻矛盾上升到不可调合的程度。毕竟，如果你们对对方都有所保留的话，那么叫你和你的爱人如何解决你们之间的问题呢？缺少诚实，婚姻生活无论如何都是不会和谐融洽的。
The Rule of Time: Take to Give Your Spouse Your Undivided AttentionWhen you are dating, you give each other this kind of attention and you fall in love. When people have affairs, they also give each other this kind of attention to keep their love for each other alive. Why can't it happen in marriage as well? It can, if you set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention. Schedule your time to be alone with each other as your highest priority, even if your career, your time with your children, and a host of other demands will compete for your time together.
时间法则：抽出时间给你的爱人你全神贯注的爱当你们约会的时候，你们都会全神贯注的对待彼此，所以你们会坠入爱河。当人们发生婚外恋时，他们也会全神贯注的对待彼此以此来维系这段感情。为什么只有在求爱和婚外恋时才会爱意浓浓，难道结了婚就不可以了嘛？如果你每周能拨出时间给你的爱人奉上你全神贯注的爱，那么这完全是可以做到的。即使当你的事业，你的孩子和其他一些事情同时需要你时，你也要把你和爱人的独处时间安排成头等大事。