海淀幼升小:如何提高你的社交技巧？

如何提高你的社交技巧

Over the last 11 months I have written a whole bunch of articles on how to improve one of the most valuable skill sets; your social skills.

过去11个月里我写了一堆关于如何提高一个人最宝贵的技能的书；你的社交技能

Some of you that have read this blog from the beginning might have already read these articles. 

那些从头至尾关注我博客的人可能已经看过这些文章了

But since a lot of new readers have joined throughout this year I thought I?′d collect and bring up the articles again in case you?′ve missed some of them. I hope that they will provide you with at least a few useful tips.

不过既然今年又有越来越多的读者加入进来，所以我想是否应该把这些文章都找出来然后重新发表一遍，这样你们就不会错过其中的一些文章了。我希望你们可以从中获得至少一点有用的建议。

And that you will give yourself a break.

并且可以借此机会让自己好好休息一下

Take it easy. Don?′t beat yourself up if you at first fail when trying to improve a skill. And don?′t try to improve everything at once. Focus on one or a few things for a month and try to work on them in your day to day life. If you fail, that’s ok and normal. Just brush yourself off and try again.

沉住气。当你尝试着提升一项技能时，即便第一次就失败了也不要气馁。也不要想着一口气就吃成个胖子。用一个月的时间专注一件或者几件事， 并且要在日常生活中加以练习。如果失败了，没关系，这很正常。拍拍身上上的灰尘然后从头再来。

Want better results? Take more action.

想要更好的结果吗？那就采取进一步行动吧

The most important part of improving your social skills is just to take more chances, show up at more social functions and to interact more with people. So a good place to start might be with these three articles:

提高社交技能最重要的部分就是懂得利用更多的机会和社会功能与更多的人交流。从以下三篇文章做起也许会是个好的开始：

7 Ways to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone and Live a More Exciting Life ”If you want to improve your life you’ll sooner or later need to step out of that zone. Because it’s there you’ll find all those new and exciting experiences. Where you’ll find freedom from boredom.” 

七种方法教你打破舒适区从而过上一种更加惬意的生活

“如果你想改善生活，跳出旧的生活模式是早晚的事。只有这样你才能发现更加新奇的体验，才能从枯燥的生活中体会自由的存在。”

Top 24 Tips for Making Your Self-Confidence Soar ”Although we may not want to admit it publicly I think a lot of us feel like we could use an improvement in self confidence. Fortunately there are better advice out there than the often exclaimed “Just be more confident, man!” or “Have another beer!”.” 

24条秘诀助你信心飙升

“尽管我们不大情愿公开承认，但大多数人都觉得有必要找到办法来提高自己的自信。幸好，还有些比我们常说的如“自信点，伙计！”或是“再来一瓶！”更好的建议。”

5 Life-Changing Keys to Overcoming Your Fear ”What is stopping you from getting what you want in life? Your friends? Your family? A sense that failure – or success – might change your life and that feeling uncomfortable? A sense that the people around you might disapprove of you aiming for what you want, of you succeeding or failing.”

改变生命克服恐惧的5个关键

“是什么在阻止你得到生活中想要得到的东西呢？你的朋友？家人？一种失败或成功都可能让生活改变的不好感觉？还是一种害怕周围的人无论成败都否定自己追求的恐惧。”

Body language is a BIG part.

肢体语言是重头戏

I think it’s pretty important to note early on that what you say is only 7 percent of communication. Body language is 55 percent and voice tonality 38 percent.

我觉得大有必要事先声明你所说的其实在交际中只占到7%的比重。肢体语言占到55%，声音则是38%。

So if you are not getting the results you’d like, if something in general feels off about your people skills then it might have little to do with what words you are using. So, say that you’d like to improve your body language since it?′s such a huge part of communication. Where do you go?

如果你没有得到自己想要的结果，如果你在交际上有所不顺，那可能跟你的措辞并无太大关系。所以，既然肢体语言在交际中占到如此大的比例，那么就对提升肢体语言表现得乐意点吧。你接下来打算怎么做呢？

6 Reasons to Improve Your Body Language ”When we’re in school or at work, we’re taught to improve our words. We learn to improve our language and words to impress. We learn to construct clever chains of words to gain an upper hand and to communicate more clearly. But when we grow up we learn very little beyond improving our words.” 

你需要提高肢体语言的6大原因

“无论是在学校还是在工作中我们都被教导要提高我们的语言表达能力。我们学会改善语言让别人感到印象深刻。我们学会巧妙地组织措辞从而更加清楚地表达自己并在交际中占据上风。但是等我们长大后才发现，除了提高文字能力外，我们其实什么也没学到。”

18 Ways to Improve Your Body Language ”Here is just a few of many pointers on how to improve your body language. Improving your body language can make a big difference in your people skills, attractiveness and general mood.” 

提高肢体语言的18种方法

“这里仅仅列出了一小部分关于如何提高肢体语言能力的观点。提高了肢体语言能力将大大提高你的交际能力，使你的魅力指数与心情大不一样。”

Talk, talk, talk.

交谈，交谈，还是交谈

Now, on to conversations. Here are six articles with both broad pointers and smaller, specific tips:

现在轮到会话了。这里有六篇文章，中间既包括宽泛的观点，也有小的、明确的建议：

How to Make a Great Impression ”First impressions can be quite important. Everyone stereotypes everyone on first impression, even if we are reluctant to do it. We all get a first impression of a new person that creates a mental image of his or her personality in our minds. That image of you often lasts and can affect the relationship that follows.” 

怎样让人印象深刻

“第一印象显得尤其重要。每个人都固执于第一印象，即便我们往往并不想如此。每当我们对一个陌生人产生第一印象时我们就会在脑中刻画出他或她的个人形象，而这种形象通常会持续一段时间甚至影响到两人关系的进一步发展。”

Five Awesome and Five Awful Conversation Topics ”“So, what should I talk about?” When it comes to conversations I think this is one question we have asked both others and ourselves many, many times. Often in our heads, when already in a conversation, with an awkward silence looming and while trying to scramble for something to say.” 

5个绝佳和5个糟糕的会话话题

“那，我该谈些什么呢？一说到会话，我想这个问题我们已经问过自己和其他人许多许多次了。这个问题时常在脑海回转，尤其是当我们身处谈话之中却又被可怕的沉默笼罩并苦思冥想寻找谈话主题的时候。”

Do You Make These 10 Mistakes in a Conversation? ”Can you improve your conversation skills? Certainly. It might take a while to change the conversation habits that’s been ingrained throughout your life, but it is very possible. To not make this article longer than necessary let’s just skip right to some common mistakes many of us have made in conversations. And a couple of solutions.” 

你在会话时会犯这10个错误吗？

“你可以提高自己的交际能力吗？当然，要想改变已经根深蒂固的交际习惯可能得花点时间，但这的确是可行的。为了不让这篇文章显得废话连篇，我们直奔主题看看我们在谈话中的常见错误。还有一些解决方法。”

5 Conversational Mistakes that Can Make You Look Dumb “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

- Dorothy Nevill” 

交际中让你显得愚蠢的5个错误

“交际的真正艺术不仅仅是在对的场合谈论对的事，还是在关键时刻能克制自己不受诱惑说出不该说的事。”
——德罗西·内维尔

One Easy Way to Remember Someone’s Name ”I have a pretty good memory for faces. I can remember them for years after just meeting them once or twice. Names are a whole different thing though. I just can’t remember them. When I hear them they just seem flow into one ear and flap away to freedom from the other one.” 

一个简单的法子教你记住他人名字

“我认人相貌的记性特别好。只消见面一两次我就可以长时间地记住他们的长相。然而名字是完全另外一回事。我就是记不住。每当我听到一个名字，最后结果往往就是左耳朵进右耳多出。”

Focus Outward to Win Friends and Improve your People Skills ”One common mistake in conversations of any kind is to turn your focus the wrong way. You (and I) may often focus too much on ourselves while at a party, at work, at school, online or in just about any setting instead of shifting your focus outward, toward the person we are talking with. Why do we do that?” 

关注他人以赢得朋友的关注，并以此提高你的交际能力

“会话中一个容易犯的错误就是把注意力放错了位置。在派对上、工作中、学校里、网上或者其它的任何场合，你（和我）可能都过度关注自己，而我们应该将注意力转移到其它方面，尤其是正在与我们交谈的那个人。我们为什么要这样做呢？”

On Criticism.

关于批评

Criticism is often a sore spot in communication that creates a lot of misunderstandings and can become hurtful (even if it was not intended to be). I’ve written two articles on this topic. One about giving criticism and one about receiving it.

批评总会给会话带来不快并导致一系列误解，甚至有时会让人很受伤（即便批评者的本意并非如此）。我有些过两篇关于这方面的文章。一篇是讲如何提出批评，另一篇则是讲如何接受批评。

One Easy Way to Give More Effective Criticism ”It was back at the university that I first came across this technique for improving the way you criticise. Whenever we had done an exercise in writing, editing or something like that we used this method.” 

一个简单的法子让你提出的批评更有价值

“在读大学的时候我第一次接触到提高批评方式的技巧。每当我们有写作、编辑或类似的练习时就会用到这个方法。”

How to Handle Criticism and get Something Good Out of It ”Receiving criticism isn’t always fun. However there are ways to handle it in a less hurtful way and – sometimes – get something good out of it. Here are a few pointers I have found useful when dealing with criticism.” 

如何应对批评并从中获益

“接受批评并不总是一件有趣的事。不过，总有些方法可以让你泰然处之免受伤害——并且有时——还能可以从中获益。以下是我找到的一些应对批评时有效的法子”

What all those other people said about communication and relationships.

其他人如何看待交流和人际关系

Finally, there are quite a few small collections with quotes from various wise and clever people in the archives of this blog. At least six of these collections are relevant – in some way or another – when you want to improve your social skills and relationships.

最后，我的博客存档里收集了不少名人名言。当你想提高社交技巧与人际关系时，其中至少有6条是与之相关的——某种程度上而言。

22 Inspirational Quotes on Fear ”When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson” 

22条战胜恐惧的励志名言

“当一个有意志青年走向一个盛气凌人的恶霸并能够勇敢的抓住他的胡子，他会惊奇的发现那个人会后退，原来他只能吓跑那些胆小鬼。
——拉尔夫·沃尔多·爱默生”

10 Inspirational Quotes on Forgiveness ”When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.

- Catherine Ponder” 

10条关于宽恕的励志名言

“如果你对一个人有反感，那么你必然在情感上对他有种死结，比钢铁还要结识。只有原谅他人是打开死结获得心灵自由的唯一办法。
——凯瑟琳·庞德”

17 Inspirational Quotes on People Skills ”You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.

- Dale Carnegie” 

17条关于人际技巧的励志名言

“如果你真正对他人感兴趣，那么你在两个月内能结交许多朋友。而如果你试图让别人对你感兴趣，恐怕你得花上两年时间。这也是结交朋友的另一种方法。 
——戴尔·卡耐基”

10 Inspirational Quotes on Relationships ”Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

- Anthony Robbins” 

10条建立人际关系的励志名言

“建立人际关系中最大的挑战来自于这一事实，很多人想利用关系得到些什么：他们试图找到能使他们感觉良好的人。现实中，维持关系的唯一方法就是将你们的关系视作一个你愿意去付出而不是去索取的地方。
——安东尼·罗宾斯”

25 Great Quotes on Leadership ”To lead people, walk beside them … As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate … When the best leader’s work is done the people say, ‘We did it ourselves!

- Lao-Tsu” 

25条关于领导力的名言

“领导人们，就要和他们一同行走，对于最好的领导者，人们不会在意他们的存在。次好的领导，人们会尊敬和赞美他们。第三位的，人们畏惧他们;再下一位的，人们讨厌他们。当最好的领导工作完成后，人们会说，‘那是我们共同的成绩！’
——老子”

9 Great Quotes on Criticism ”Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.

- Emmet Fox”

9条关于批评的名言

“批评就是一种间接的自我吹捧。
——埃米特·福克斯”